ohshititsgreg:

hitlersbreastmilk:

imagine if u were giving birth and a grown man wearing a suit came out

And he tried to sell your family car insurance 

siskyisoutofbusiness:

omfG SO TODAY IN PHYSICS THIS GIRL’S PHONE WENT OFF AND HER RINGTONE WAS SHINE BRIGHT LIKE A DIAMOND AND MY TEACHER STOOD UP AND SAID TURN THAT THING OFF IF I HEAR IT AGAIN I WILL PERSONALLY TRACK DOWN RIHANNA AND EXPLAIN TO HER THAT DIAMONDS DO NOT SHINE THEY REFLECT

(Source: mountincest)